A Father's Day Reflection on Things I've Learned From My Kids
Normally I write about my own father on Father's Day. Turns out I've also learned quite a lot from my three kids along the way.
Most who have followed my political work over the years are familiar with my reflections on my Dad, who made an unmistakable impression on my life that I continue to understand as I grow older. This November, barring any unexpected developments, I will turn 40. I became a father in my own right when I was 27, and I’m most definitely not the same person now that I was then. Much of that is owed to my children.
Here are the most important things they’ve each taught me:
Eden (12)
Be Authentic
Eden is already 5’7” and only 12, but she might as well be 16 if you talk to her. Just like we all knew things we didn’t think our parents wanted us to know about how the way things truly are in life, she knows them, too. She’s begun to ask me questions about growing up, and about mature topics in which I face a choice to dodge, thereby allowing the world to inform her, or to engage and help her understand important takeaways about key topics that will shape her future development as a young woman. This kid values authenticity, and despite my own issues, accepts me fully and enjoys the freedom I allow her to help her thrive. There’s never a shared moment she wants to say “no” to.
Eli (8)
Say Yes
Eli has more energy than the average jackrabbit, and despite wishing to grow to be as big as his Dad, struggles to get over the 60-pound mark, even as he demonstrates athletic prowess at pretty much every physical activity he decides to do. Since I grew out of my period of low self-esteem and confidence I had as middle and high school kid, I’ve always prided myself on my high level of energy, can-do attitude, and willingness to take on all challenges. We recently went cliff jumping in Northern Arizona, and this kid reminded me every single day to make that five-hour trek so he could put himself to the test. I had been wanting to wait until that ice-cold creek water warmed up, but finally relented and planned the trip on the fly. He reminds me to keep my spontaneity sharp.
I have a feeling this boy is going to keep me young and hold me accountable for sake of adventure for the rest of my life.
Willow (7)
Be Gentle
Willow only trails Eli by 17 months in age, but she is still very much a young girl at heart. Whereas her older sister seems like she’s going to be an adult in the blink of an eye, Willow has this effect on me in which she reminds me I can’t always try and act tough and capable like I do for my son, and that I have to dial down the maturity a little bit for someone who is still very impressionable, learning about human nature, good and bad, and who looks to her older sister for an example.
My youngest has persevered through substantial digestive troubles and loves to surprise me with delightfully misspelled handwritten notes, and these things about her remind me that I play an essential role in affirming her (and her sister) in the way a father must, so she doesn’t seek it in the wrong places in the future.
Conclusion
My contribution to the future is my children, and I owe it to them to help them develop the ability to think critically and freely, to be honest about life failures and mistakes, and to give them the opportunity to sink or swim with conditions of safety ensured now, when they are still under my guidance. Societies cease to function effectively when new generations of adults arrive incapable of accepting responsibility and taking advantage of freedom to thrive. Free men, free fathers, must recognize this and take the mission to develop independent and capable adults while those children are still impressionable.
Another gem, Seth.
Raising my daughter grew me up a lot , and it was an adventure I would not have missed for all the world.
The only true success that I can claim for this life is that she has convinced me that she wants me to be a part of her life.
I have arrived!
Seth, you are very blessed! AND we are blessed to have you fighting the good fight and sharing your knowledge and research!!